It
was all over, in a matter of minutes. That's the ironic part.
There
were three of us: my best mates, Catherine and Vanessa, and myself.
We'd been going to the local youth club for a couple of years, at the
time.
It
was okay. I mean, there were trendier places to hang out, on a
Friday night. But, when you're thirteen, and have the misfortune to
look it...
Remember
those Panda drinks? Coke or shandy – take your pick. Both were
cheap, and somewhat nasty. That was what they served at what they
termed “the bar”, although it wasn't one, as far as I was
concerned – not if you couldn't purchase a pint of Stella or a
bottle of Bud there.
They
did, however, sell barely edible “Pink Shrimps”, which retailed
at 2p each. Alternatively, there were “White Mice” - a totally
inedible bargain, at 1p per “Mouse”. Ideal for lobbing at the
acne-covered twelve- to fifteen-year-old “hunks”, whom my friends
and I were far too shy to chat up, as such.
The
Club held discos, once a month. The three of us would dutifully, and
somewhat unconvincingly, prance around, pretending to be Madonna,
whenever the DJ played her latest hits, such as “Like a Virgin”,
“Material Girl”, and “Into the Groove”. In retrospect, he
didn't play much else.
Well,
there were the slow songs, of course. As none of us had boyfriends,
we'd sit those ones out. Along with the inevitable “Crazy For You”,
there were “Careless Whisper” and “Move Closer”.
I
don't think the DJ could have had a particularly large record
collection. Probably worked for our local radio station, come to
think of it, as the playlist was almost identical.
Cath's
elder sister, Tracy, helped out at the club, on a voluntary basis.
Vanessa was, of late, incapable of acting like a sane human being, in
Tracy's presence. This was on account of her jealousy – of Tracy's,
unquestionably gorgeous, fiance, Matt. Catherine fancied him, too. I
was the only one who didn't.
I
didn't even especially like the guy, although I couldn't have
told you why.
Catherine
was playing pinball, as per usual. That girl was seriously hooked.
And I, for my part, was becoming seriously bored, watching
her. She could at least have had the credibility to get addicted to
Space Invaders.
“Fancy
buying some White Mice to lob at you-know-who?” whispered Vanessa,
self-consciously tugging at what there was of that blood-red, PVC
miniskirt, which Cath and I had failed to talk her out of purchasing.
The item of clothing in question had been drastically reduced in
price, and not without reason.
“Don't
you think he's a bit old for us, Vanessa?” I suggested,
tentatively.
“He's
not old, Leila. He's younger than Tracy.”
I
stifled a sigh. Not this again. Yeah, okay, so Matt was
younger than Tracy. He was nineteen, and Cath's sister would be
twenty-two next month. Not underage though, was he?
But
try telling that to Vanessa!
“Maybe
you ought to take up pinball, like Cath,” I muttered. “It's a lot
safer.”
“Sorry?”
“Never
mind! Hey, Nessa - wait up, can't you? You know I can't run in these
heels!”
My
friend and I were both out of breath, sweaty, and flustered, by the
time we reached “the bar”. We turned out our pockets, searching
for change to squander on sweets we had no intention of eating. Not
necessarily advisable, when you're existing on paper round wages,
topped up by very minimal “pocket money”, but there you go.
Vanessa would probably have considered the “Mice” an investment.
Some
“investment”.
I've
been over it so many times, over the years – what happened to me,
that night. If only I'd realised then, what Vanessa's idol –
Tracy's fiance – was really like.
We
should have stayed together. That was what Mum and Dad were always
banging on about, wasn't it?
And
it was true.
I
was the only one who hadn't had some stupid crush on Matt. I
hadn't even fantasized about having him ping my bra, like the other
boys did. The boys my own age – the ones I'd still enjoyed flirting
with, back then, before I'd known what any of it was really all
about.
***
“What's
the matter with you, Leila?” demands my boyfriend, as I roll on to
my side, away from him, in the bed in which Tom and I have been
sleeping together for – shit, it must be five years now, mustn't
it?
And
it was over in a matter of minutes, what Matt did to me.
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